Hello Darlings!

It’s November. The season of parties is upon us.

Bestie Melanie and I were discussing getting ready for company as I was getting the house ready for Bestie Holly’s visit for the weekend. And seriously, after giving Karen the border collie a bath in one bathroom and the other looking like a crime scene, I was in a bit of a tailspin. Let’s not sugar coat this stuff. You’ve been there, right? (please agree so I don’t feel like an epic fail!)

The kitchen wasn’t dirty, well, because we’ve been eating Lean Cuisines and going out. I’ll be cooking plenty this month. Don’t judge.

Okay. How do you get the house company-ready when you have an hour or less? Let’s get to it.

I present to you, The Holy Trinity of Cleaning:

Help is on the way.

But, Patti, I only have bleach in the house! Then you are good to go. Pour it in the toilet bowls and the sinks. Let it sit 15 minutes. Wipe the sink with a rag or sponge and the toilet bowl with a brush. You are ready! Trust me. Seeing a pink ring at the bottom of a toilet bowl makes me a little judgey. Just a bit. Ick.

Have 30 minutes? Febreze will make your house smell less like the Bulls of Pamplona have just made their yearly run and Clorox Wipes – good gracious – what did we ever do before those things? Wipe down sticky counters and nose prints from the dogs. Bestie Melanie swears by Oxyclean. Mix a scoop in a sinkful of warm water and slather it all over everything. Countertops, stove, the floor.

Oh, and be safe and wear rubber gloves if you have them.

Okay – you have a bit more time than 30 minutes? Swiffer wet mop the house. It smells so good! And it dries pretty quickly, too. I could use the Swiffer duster, but to save time I usually just put the wet mop out and drag the mop toward me – anything on the floor will move toward you and when you take the pad off, just grab up the residual dust.  Don’t cook – order out. Light candles. Lots of candles and turn the lights out or use those dimmers (I would DIE without dimmers!) Put out your largest wine glasses and make everyone drink a big drink as soon as they arrive (they’re all taking Uber, right? Of course they are!) Now everyone is feeling dreaming and tipsy. Great job!

Get out there and start entertaining! I love and support you!

xoxo, Patti

ps – Holly doesn’t care if my house smells like wet dog. That’s what besties are for. But I still want to make her feel pampered. 🙂

pps – I wasn’t compensated by any cleaning product for this post. This is just what I use. If they want to send me free stuff – I would love that!

ppps – While writing this I had to get up twice to chase Karen and her dog-self off the couch. That I just sprayed with Febreze. For the second time. #ItsGettingReal